The New Normal

If you're like me, you cringe a bit at this phrase.  It's the old moniker for how UD plans to approach the fall (we've now taken to The Path Forward which isn't much better and some say harkens to Mao's China). 


Recent events in Minneapolis following the murder of George Floyd and ensuing protests there and around the country have highlighted systemic racism and its impact on the safety and wellbeing of people of color.  In this case, we are begging for a new normal, rather than the current semi-dystopian reality. 


And for me, as an individual, the past three months since my stage IV diagnosis have also brought about a New Normal.  While I could share my thoughts on either of the two previous topics, this isn't the space for that, so instead I'll provide a brief update, though as a spoiler alert, there's not much to update on.


After the initial wave of "tellings", things slowed down in that department.  Though, I still find myself sharing the news on occasion or responding to heartfelt words of support from individuals and groups that find out through word of mouth.  Recently, alumni students, many of whom I grew close with on two study abroad trips have reached out.  Their kind thoughts are so appreciated. 


Yet, all in all, the new normal is a lot like the old normal.  I feel fine.  Granted, when working out, and breathing heavy or feeling short of breath I'll go through a mental checklist of: Cancer? Covid? Just out of shape?  And, happy? to report its the latter...quarantine and diagnosis didn't do much good for healthy living for me, though I'm recommitted.  I like to quote Newton's Laws of Motion...object in motion, stay in motion.  So I got to keep moving.


Yesterday I went to the doctor's office for my third round of monthly injections (even my oncologist said it wasn't fair to have 5 sticks, but I still prefer it to having to come in more often).  Thankfully, the itching and redness the one in my butt gave me has subsided.  Happy to report no other side effects of any of the new treatments.  As anticipated, the one, Ibrance, drops my white blood cells, but people tend not to get infections, and I've confirmed I'm not really at great COVID risk because of this. 


I also got blood drawn for the tumor marker (CA27-29) that was the initial canary in the coal mine that prompted CT scans.  It hasn't gone down, but this isn't totally atypical in the first weeks of treatment.  So it doesn't necessarily mean the treatment isn't working...  The best way I can explain it is that as the drugs eat up the tumor, it creates more little pieces of tumor, that can cause it to go up, vs genuinely new little tumors actually growing. 


I asked my doc when we will re-CT.  We had a bit of a laugh:
Doc: "I know you're anxious to see that it's working..."
Me: "No, I'm anxious to see that it isn't, because I'm a worst-case scenario type person". 
Doc: "Yeah, don't do that".
So he remains optimistic.  And as he said, there's lots of options. 


His physical exam and hearing clear lungs made me feel better that it really is just a lack of fitness causing any shortness of breath, so that was good to hear.  And we acknowledged that the mental part of this all may in fact be the most difficult.


So I continue with life, doing my thing.  Oh! One big update.  I adopted a cat!  May 8, I picked up Ms. Riley from a local pet store/Human Society.  We're getting along pretty well.  She likes head scratches and saying hello, sleeping in bed but generally coming in during the middle of the night, and likes to be close by but isn't really a lap cat.  

Having something else with a heartbeat in the house is kind of fun.  It helps me do my dishes a bit better (mostly...) and is good company.  And, in my ever-morbid-yet-realistic thinking, given that she's 1, have already identified a friend to take her if I don't outlive her.  I allow myself one of these morbid thoughts per day and many days I go without any!


As far as my ABC plan, Covid puts a damper on a lot of the adventures. But I was able to escape out of town with my colleague and friend Diana for a weekend of hiking and writing (scientific writing...we were pretty productive!).  It was great to be able to spend time in nature, and also with her family who joined us for the last night.

It was also a good reminder that even in the Midwest there are some great places to go adventuring and visit.  To help with this I got a SUP and may get a kayak.  I'm contemplating travel, but will be well prepared to enjoy what we have to offer here as well!

I wish I had more to update, but I guess no news is good news in this case.  I'm off to a Zoom Meeting, but I can't help but leave with this: