Friendsgiving!

Before heading off to the airport for family Thanksgiving, I thought I'd quickly post about Sunday's Friendsgiving. 

I'll start be just saying I'm grateful for good friends, and friends of friends that I was able to share a lovely afternoon with.

Saturday, I got the place ready for guests...

 

Particularly after watching a couple of the guys move the two table back through the narrow 1940's doorways of my house, I'm not quite sure how I got the tables moved in the first place...

 

Then Sunday was on to cooking!  I actually embraced the pot luck and didn't make anything other than the turkey...

 

That's a turkey in a bag folks.  Makes for easy cooking, no basting.  I'm sure there are people that would say super heating plastic isn't a good idea and might cause cancer...ha, well, you know, that's already been taken care of for some of us.

 

Maura was acting as co host and arrived early to finish off some of her delicious contributions...

 

and Nate was given the pardon-my-following-social-gender-norms 'manly' job of carving the turkey...

 

perhaps making him wear an apron helped neutralize the stereotypical gender thoughts. 

 

I also made gravy from the drippings, no easy task, but made easier by...

 

the Robo Stir!  Thanks Mom for a single use kitchen appliance that actually came in handy.  It definitely saved some effort, though was a little noisy. 

 

Other guests arrived and added to the beautiful spread...

 

sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing (with bacon! and walnuts!), cranberries, rolls, and 2 pies.  We were all quite stuffed.

 

Here's a shot of the group sans Eric who ate then left for band practice with Meghna and the Majority

 

It was a delicious and fun time!

 

Otherwise the past two days have been spent awaiting today and tomorrow when I get to see the fam.  I'm quite excited, though also a little nervous...how will the kids react?  How will 'Tucci react  to seeing me?  No matter, it will be so nice to see and spend time with everyone, even if only for a short time.

 

On the medical front, in order to hopefully prevent my infusion reactions, I'm going to start taking an oral dose of steroid the night before and morning of treatment as well.  Can't say I'm thrilled to be upping the steroid dose, but if it needs to happen, it needs to happen.

 

In closing, and in anticipation of not posting till Friday after I'm back, I'd like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all!  It may be hard to believe, but I'm probably the MOST grateful for so many things in life this year.  This is truly one of my most favorite holidays and I hope everyone can enjoy some rest, good company, and share in my gratitude.  



 

 

 

 

 

5 is not a factor of 12

While I was in Minnesota for the marathon, my friend Heather and I were discussing her preparation for the GRE exam for entrance into a graduate program.  One of the concepts we were discussing was prime factors.  It's funny the stuff on that exam...SOH CAH TOH!  3-4-5 Pythagorean triplets!  Expansion of polynominals!  Apparently those are good indicators of quantitative reasoning.  Perhaps the kids that bitch about taking Calculus are on to something....  Anyways, while 5 is a prime number, it is not a factor of 12, and thus I have no easily calculated percentage of the way through my taxol treatments that I now am at (it's ~42%, I did well on the GRE).  HOWEVER, if you count the first 4 rounds of chemo, I was prescribed 16 in total and today was my 9th, so you could say I'm "officially" more than half of the way through!

After arriving for treatment this morning (in sweats and a t-shirt, one of the many benefits of not going to work afterwards) Deena and I did the normal greet and exchange of pleasantries.  Her: "How you doing" Me: "Good, trucking along"  Her:"At least it's Friday!"  I chuckled at that.  You could see she was beginning to regret it at which point I quickly noted "It's funny because yes, Fridays have taken on a new feeling for me.  On one hand it's 'oh, another chemo...' but on the other it's 'oh! Another chemo!" as in, one more closer to the "end" (in parentheses since I don't think there will ever be a real end).  

We continued to chat as she pulled labs.  I mentioned how someone had offered to come but that at this point, with napping through most of the treatment, I really don't mind being alone.  Although, come January, I'll probably make sure someone else is there, just to help celebrate.  I think there were a couple of newbies in the infusion suite.  An elderly lady with presumably her daughter and son-in-law who was reading aloud the many text messages from concerned family? about what was going on.  An older Asian gentleman whose daughter was translating questions about what exactly was going on.  And then a few of us regulars who you could tell knew what to expect.  I have to admit, there is something interesting about going to the Cancer Center, particularly by myself.  Most people there are older, some considerably so.  While I don't need pity or concern from perfect strangers, I do wonder to myself, how many of them are saying "God she's young...".  I do try to be as upbeat as possible when I'm there.  I think it helps me, but also if it can serve as some small bit of encouragement or hope for others, I want it to.  Clearly  you can see that I am somewhat narcissistic in assuming that I am the center of everyone's concern, even those with cancer : )  Some things don't change.  I was a little chippy today though.  When the one nurse (who has said some very nice things to me in the past) complimented my wonderful afghan from Stranger Suzy saying, "I just want that" I curtly replied "Well, I'd tell you that you should get cancer and then start getting gifts from random strangers, but that probably wouldn't be the best thing for you...."  It's probably a good thing that the rest of the world doesn't pay nearly as much attention to me as I think they do.

Labs/Bloodwork were fine.  We chatted a bit about scheduling in the upcoming weeks as with holidays, my normal time slots weren't always available.  She gave the benedryl with the steroid (rather than push before the chemo infusion) again to give it a bit more time to work.  Per usual, I got pretty drowsy so began to nod off once I had acquired sufficient blankets to stay warm.  I woke when she was starting the Taxol and then what do you know, about five minutes in I had that darn reaction again.  It starts as a bit of tightness in the throat and then continues with some facial flushing.  Once Deena stopped the infusion, all was well so she ended up not even giving the extra dose of steroid that is normally protocol after a reaction.  As she said, it's somewhat atypical to be reacting this far into the course, so she'll talk to my oncologist on Monday and see what he recommends.  We were able to finish the treatment, so honestly, for me, I don't really mind it.

More napping, a bathroom trip (I've never handled my saline well...should ask some of the folks back at CSU) or two and I was done.  Stopped to get some food on the way home (was craving Chipotle) and then finally managed to end the game of phone tag I'd been playing with the dietician from Maple Tree.  Her name is Jane and she sounds really nice.  I told her my 'story' (the cancer highlights at least), she explained that she's there for whatever I need, and we discussed how best to move forward.  I'll do a food diary so she can review, and she'll mostly serve as a point of accountability.  While as she said, this is not the time for weight loss per se, I probably can healthily try to move back to my pre-cancer/treatment weight. 

Since I didn't have to go back to work of have any pressing deadlines, I enjoyed catching up on TV that I missed while I was working at the store last night.  Minor spoilers approaching:  Grey's (not a very shocking winter finale, kinda saw the MerDer thing coming and the baby news didn't get anywhere), Scandal (um, clearly Olivia isn't going to die...), Parenthood (was that a stroke Zeke was having? I do hope Joel and Julia make it, he's my favorite) and SVU (um...it's a procedural so you know, storylines are minimal). 

Ok, spoilers through.  I also watched the Flyers take on the defending champs UConn on TV, only to fall asleep in the second half (we lost...here's to hoping UConn stays ranked!).  The rest of the night was spent eating, lounging though I probably should have been grading.  I started to read the book my cousin (who I called my Singapore cousin but is really not my Saudi cousin) had given me, Crazy Sexy Cancer.  Since I wasn't feeling tired (probs due to my nap) I decided to rent the movie/documentary version from Amazon to watch.  It was pretty good, but the best part was this:

I know her!!!

 

That ladies and gentlemen is my lovely friend Aubrey Day (nee Hoover) from grad school at CSU.  This however, is her working in a ring shop in NYC where Kris Carr, the documentarian/main character was buying her ring for the wedding that would close the video (because you know, it's totally normal to fall in love with your cameraman while you are spilling your guts about cancer...I know I'm cynical and that it's probably great she's providing hope to people by saying you shouldn't swear off love and all, but really?  Come on.  I don't think all of us are going to be finding the guy that wants to juice our wheat grass for us each morning.  Unless of course, there's a double entendre in there, in which case...).  So yeah, my friend Aubrey.  Interestingly, she just celebrated her own nuptials!  Full freaking circle my friends.

 



The major digression of that last paragraph is probably a signal that I should cease the rambling for now.  I will say as I was laying in bed listening to Kris Carr try to tie a nice bow on  the conclusion of the documentary and make bold statements about growth and learning and what not, I was thinking of similar things like that.  It's a little premature though, so lucky you.  Plus, with Thanksgiving just next week and my constant need to force my family into sharing what they are thankful for, I guarantee that there will likely be some sappy posts like that forthcoming. 

Oh, I know a better way to end!  I read another book!  Yes Please by Amy Poehler. 

 

I devoured this book like much of the food I've been eating the past two months.  It's great.  That is, if you are into the whole memoir/essay/self-helpy in some ways/fun stories kind of a book.  If you're one of those people that thinks that it isn't worth hearing the persona thoughts and opinions of 99% of the world (I'm thinking of my brother here, and his hatred for talk radio, talking head tv shows, and for all I know, memoirs of this exact type), you'll probably hate this. But, if not, I highly recommend it.  If not even just for the fact that the pages are of really high quality!  Seriously, they are like 20 lb semi glossy! (I'm an office supply nerd if you didn't know that about me already...I get easily overwhelmed in the paper aisle of Office Max, but seriously, a 92 20lb ream makes my heart skip a little).  Also, the book is full of helpful reminders.  I'll actually  end with that:

 

How are you?

It's really a simple question.  You've probably said it more than once today.  And people have said it you.  Crossing paths in a hallway, over the phone, in an email, whatever.  And normally, I wouldn't take much pause at the question.  It sounds routine.  But since "the whole cancer thing it isn't so routine.  Its a slight change in tone.  Holding that "are" for a touch longer.  Emphasizing the "you". 

It's seemingly happened quite often this week.  The extra attention. I get it, that people care.  And I'm so, so grateful.  But how am I supposed to respond?  It seems like the routine "I'm good, you?" doesn't satisfy people.  So then it's either I divulge more information "I'm good! This new drug is great!" or try to really emphasize the thanks in a slight deviation from the routine of "I'm good, THANKS".

I had a couple of 'firsts' today!

#1, will working out at Maple Tree, I jogged a bit. When I say a bit I mean literally, a bit.  A few minutes on the treadmill.  Funny enough I was wearing a half marathon race tee.  It sucked, kinda bad.  It was the first time running since the shoe try-on day at the store while back.  But its a start.  I ended up pushing myself pretty hard at the workout and it felt pretty okay.

#2, I stopped to get a turkey on the way home so it has time to defrost before Friendsgiving at my house on Sunday.  I didn't have a casual hat with me (sidenote: slept at a friend's because my furnace was out and the house was around 40.  PSA: make sure the door to your furnace is closed all the ay as it'll shut down everything (including your thermostat) if it isn't), and only a longsleeve with a hood and post-exercise, I was pretty hot.  So, you know what, I said, F it (well you know what I actually said, but Mom doesn't really approve of my favorite word) and just rocked the bald head while shopping.  I should mention, this was the store we affectionately call "Kroghetto" here at UD so the clientele is normally a little all over the place anyways.  Regardless, it was sort of a big step for me.  I have no plans to really do the bald thing in public routinely (also because I'm starting to get fuzzy hair regrowth! yay!), but it was nice to feel like I wasn't limited or had to make myself suffer by being really hot.

Otherwise, no much is new other than I can't wait for a week when I'll be with my whole family for Turkey Day!  Let's all be glad we don't live in Buffalo and enjoy the end of the week!

Weekend Warrior-ing

Yes, I'm obsessed with alliteration as you can probably tell from my post titles.  Deal with it.  I'm cheesy.

Anywho, a bit of a weekend update!

Friday's treatment was not without note...Bless her heart, Nurse Deena (who got a lovely dye job to a darker brown) was trying to be efficient and not wait a full 30 min after my pre-drug steroid/antihistamine mix and started the Taxol (the real chemo drug) a little early.  Apparently I need the full 30 because I had a bit of an infusion reaction.  Facial blushing, throat/chest tightness...not to the same extent as the first time around, but it was there.  Taxol was stopped, more Decadron (steroid) was given, and all was well. 

After treatment, the standard meetings and such on a Friday afternoon and then home for a relaxing night, per usual catching up on TV, heading to bed early.  I started reading a good book, Boys in the Boat which also per usual, I'm trying to consume in moderation.  This was after I did in fact read my buddy's dissertation while awake at night.  Can always learn something!

There's a great website I may have mentioned before, called Unf*ck Your Habitat that was sort of the theme for the weekend.  The motto for this site is "You're better than your mess" and it's true.  I am better than the mess that my house has been lately, inside and out.  And, while cancer is definitely a good excuse for a lot of things, I was letting it be an excuse for a 'regular' habit I have, of making my living space sort of trashy and a mess (my sister Sarah would die!), particularly all week long.  So I had in mind that I would do some unf*cking this weekend.  The fact the forecast called for snow (I can join in the rest of the country's fun!) further motivated me to get some things in order. 

Saturday I spent raking/bagging leaves (thanks Mom and Dad for always living places without big tress growing up....), mowing the lawn (hopefully one last time) and moving the patio furniture under the protective patio roof.

City of Dayton requires them bagged!

 

I then spent an afternoon grading exams and watching college football and an evening reading that damn book. Oh, and the cookies.  My wonderful Singapore cousin sent a terrific care package that had some of the most delicious chocolate chip cookies I've eaten in some time.  Thanks Kris, they were amazing!

 

After another lazy morning, late breakfast and book reading (they're on their way to the Olympics!) I knew what I had to do.  It was time for some major cleaning...

 

So far on this blog I've shared my feelings, my fears, my highs and my low.  I've shared my bald head and my weight gain, my doctor's reports, both good and bad.  What I'm about to share is almost more embarrassing and harder for me...The joy of living alone is being able to hide your messes from the world.  I have, on a number of occasions, invited people over with motivation to clean being a major reason for the gathering.  I can be a slob.  Maybe I am a slob.  But, I'm capable of cleaning up.  So here they are, the before and after from my day of unf*cking. 

 

And, for the first time pretty much ever since I left home to go to college...

That's a car in a garage!  Wahoo!



 

So I didn't spend the weekend exercising, but it was a bit of work and something for me to accomplish.  As I finished my 4th treatment on Friday, I have been thinking a lot about where I'm currently at.  It is quite easy to forget about the cancer.  Then I see a reflection.  Oh that's right, I don't have hair.  (sidenote, definite silver lining to cancer...swiffering my floors is much less disgusting as they aren't covered in my hair).  Then a card or package shows up and I'm reminded of the support.  Then I scratch an itch and feel my port buried in my skin.  Then I feel Bertha, who seems more like Baby Bertha these days (again with my alliterative obsession...). 

 

I realize I'm not "through" this yet.  Not even close.  But I would be remiss to not acknowledge where I've come from and where I'm at.  I'm at a place where physically, I've changed much (some good, some bad) and mentally, am such a stronger person than I was a few months ago.  Or, maybe that's not true.  Maybe I'm the same person I was, I just believe in myself a bit more.  I was having a conversation with the shrink about how I've surprised myself with my positive attitude throughout this.  I tend not to be a positive person, and I've had really dark days in the past.  She countered by reminding me though that throughout life I've faced challenges head on and most often succeeded, so why would cancer be any different?  I thought about it, and she's probably right...I guess I don't pay her for nothing.

 

This is a roundabout post, I realize.  Perhaps I just needed a bit of a mind unf*ck as well today.  A cleaning out of what's been rattling around for a bit in an attempt to make room for the new and see what is actually there. 

 



Blogging from Chemo

Hi friends.  I thought I'd take a few of the moments before I start taking a nap to write a quick blog.

Had a followup appointment yesterday with the oncologist who continues to be pleased with the progress of treatment (reduction of tumor).  He even said I may be eligible for a lumpectomy vs a mastectomy, so that's great news!

My blood counts are fine and I'm continuing to do well.  I am starting to get a little bit of the neuropathy (pain, tingling in fingers and toes) that I was warned about, but it isn't too bad.  So today is number 4...one third of the way though!  It's helpful that 12 is a very easily divisible number, as I'm able to calculate nearly each week and fairly simple fraction.  Yes, I'm a dork, and yes, I was thinking about this in bed last night.

I was a little sore from my first training session at Maple Tree on Wednesday, but managing to get a workout (albeit a little slow) in this morning pre-treatment.

I would complain about the weather her, but given my friends in Colorado and Minnesota are suffering in single-digits, that doesn't seem quite right.

Starting to feel a little drowsy (thanks iv benedryl) so will wrap up.  Again, thanks for the continued thought and prayers!

Posting for Procrastination

I'm a big fan of what I like to call "purposeful procrastination", doing something that is seemingly productive, despite it being fairly low priority in order to avoid high priority items.  I should be working on a manuscript, grading papers, grocery shopping etc.  but I'll post instead.  Lucky for you all :)

Yesterday was Taxol Treatment 3 of 12.  As I said in a text to family in the morning... Hi ho. Hi ho. I'm off for more chemo...

Of note, this was my first treatment all by myself.  I put this out there right away mostly just to make sure that my mom (or anyone else)  doesn't feel bad for not being here.  It was actually just fine.  I was able to go to work first for a bit since the appointment wasn't until 10.  Once there, everything went just fine and since no one was there with me, I didn't have to feel guilty about snoozing through the treatment!  I got a little work done while my labs were running (which continue to look good), but once that iv benedryl got on board, I was pretty much out. 

Otherwise, the day was a fairly standard Friday...meetings, post-meeting discussions, little bit of work, catching up on TV last night and fairly early to bed (yes, I am that cool...).  Worked out this morning, which other than being a bit lower intensity than I'd like, is continuing to go well. 

Speaking of exercise...Thursday night I went to a really nice benefit dinner for Maple Tree Cancer Alliance, the organization I think I've mentioned that provides Free! exercise and nutrition counseling for cancer patients.  Also, the director and I have some mutual connections from back in Colorado and may have some research collaborations forthcoming.  It was a really great event that hopefully hit their target goals for fundraising since the whole budget is grant/donation based.  AND, importantly, I finally scheduled my first training session for this upcoming week. So now I can not be a hypocrite for embracing the benefits of exercise and not actually doing it myself!

Happy Weekend All!

What's another few minutes?

I should be in bed.  It's 10:35 PM.  I'm not in bed.  I'm at work...real work at UD.  And, while most people would probably bitch and complain about a 15 hour work day, I'm actually really grateful.  15 hours later and I'm still here, doing what I love doing, surviving and thriving. 

I didn't sleep well last night.  Another reason I should be in bed.  I was up from 1-3 tossing and turning (thanks hot flashes), trying to read to fall back to sleep. I started Gone Girl after seeing the movie over the weekend.  The movie was good...long as my mom had said and not overly uplifting.  Karyn, if you haven't read this book, don't.  The plot of a marriage that's falling apart and miserable and people cheat and whatnot that you hate...it's this book.  At the same time, you know me, I like movies, and I like feeling competent so reading the accompanying book is sort of a given.  The reading finally helped and eventually I got back to sleep.

Here's the thing about having cancer...things seem like a BIG DEAL.  As I was tossing and turning, my ears hurt.  It had sort of bothered me earlier in the day and I hadn't thought much of it.  But, lying in bed, without nothing else to do, I started freaking out a bit.  What if I have an ear infection?!  Can my body handle it?  Ohmigosh I'm not sleeping, that's gonna make it worse! Should I take my temperature? Ok, fine.  Ok, it's fine.  But STILL! And then I was planning on working out since I'm back on that.  But I'm not sleeping!  Which is more important, the working out of the sleeping? 

This is my brain at 1 am.  It's not a fun place to be.

The other complication in the planning of waking up and sleeping and working out was that I knew I had to be in to school early to finish getting ready for this Physiology Understanding (PhUn) Week event I had planned.  Back in summer BC (before cancer) I had laid the foundation for partnering with DECA, the school that is actually located in our building on campus (really neat charter targeting first generation college students) to have my physiology students go in and teach a lesson.  The American Physiological Society, my professional society, sponsors the week, sends free stuff, etc.  So seemed like a good idea, fun, helpful for promotion and tenure and demonstrating the integration of the Marianist spirit in my actions, blah blah.  But mostly, I'm a dork and think physiology is super cool and so wanted to share that with younger kids.  Yay me.

All that said (or stated rather...this is an annoying habit my favorite old boss used to point out, when I would write 'that said' since it isn't really said), I've been busy so planning got a bit rushed, hence the need to get to school early.  After arriving, I finished my arts and crafts time:

Look at those officemade stickers!  Couldn't find where the biceps ones went...

 

Let me tell you, I started these yesterday and there are a lot of NSFW pancreases (pancrei?) out there...

 

So the "Passports" for the 7th graders were set...things came together, and starting at 10 I was off!  4 7th grade biology classes and 2 high school anatomy classes.  My students teaching stations in each, the high schoolers getting to check out the cadaver lab.  There were double classes in the afternoon so post-lunch I was sort of running around with a crazy woman.

 

It was worth it though.  The DECA kids were super impressive (since this is the cancer blog...one girl asked why I wore a scarf, I told her I was sick with cancer and that drugs that make me better cause me to lose my hair...it was sweet as they all said they hoped I felt better) and my kids did a great job.

Getting ready to play telephone to act out neurotransmission.

 

Around 4, I was through, after and exhausting but totally fulfilling day.  Had a paper discussion with a student, grabbed some Chipotle for dinner, got to witness another student actually doing some good critical thinking, then I got started on the real work of the evening.

 

I've been putting off cleaning up the data we collected this summer because after my student presented the cancer stuff happened and I haven't been motivated to get back to it.  But, tomorrow is the deadline for abstracts for the big meeting I go to each year (this year in Boston again), and since I typically am not motivated other than by deadlines, that meant it was time to start...

 

Data analysis (yay Excel!), abstract writing, rinse and repeat for another one related to some teaching stuff.  Quick application for an award (got to try! love me some free money!) and that brings us to now, almost 11:00.

 

There's a lot of bullshit in my job sometimes (a lot of the time...) and in life too (cancer at 29, wtf?).  Today was one of those days that makes it seem worth it though.  I got to do what I like, learn something, have fun, and help others do the same.  Plus, I got to do it all wearing a t-shirt!

 

#officeselfie  Scarf comes off when no one's around..

 

 

 

 



Start the Insanity!

Hi Friends, back to me, Anne.

I heard from a friend today that people were noticing my lack of blogging...I apologize.  It's just that life has sort of taken up its new routine and not that much has seemed "blog-worthy".

Mom pretty well covered the events of the past few days, pre-Halloween fun, 2nd treatment, and weekend.  I'm really enjoying that these Taxol treatments don't seem to take much out of me.  I really feel pretty close to "normal".  As apparent in my blood counts, I'm lacking my normal red blood cell supply (10.2 mg/dl for anyone that cares), which makes me feel a little better about how out of shape I felt when running the other weekend.

I feel good enough that I decided to restart the Insanity program that I've done before.  When I lost a lot of weight and was the healthiest I've been probably ever, I did the whole program along with Weight Watchers and saw a lot of success.  I'm not expecting the same level of results since I don't think I'll be able to push myself quite as hard, but I really enjoy having a set routine of what to do each morning.  And, it's very convenient to just be able to get out of bed and do it here in my house.

This morning started with the "Fit Test" to get a baseline level of some selected exercises to then be able to track progress.  It was, unsurprisingly, a bit discouraging, as my baseline is way below last time I "tested" back in February.  However, I'm trying to be realistic in my expectations and appreciate my effort more than anything else.  First workout will be tomorrow morning, so excited to see how it goes.  There's an off day built in that I think right now actually falls on Sundays, so we'll have to see if there's a more strategic schedule.

It felt good to sweat, and not just because I get hot flashes, but to actually sweat.  It's been too long.  For all my hype about exercising early on, I really haven't "worked out" in some time.  I'm still active but not the dedicated exercise I had hoped for.  Some days I felt like crap.  Some days I was scared that I would feel like crap if I did.  Some days I just valued sleep instead.  I'm hoping that now that I'm feeling better, and hopefully will continue to, that I can take advantage and build strength before surgery in February.

Otherwise, nothing much is new...work remains busy as ever and in my feeling better I am also putting in longer hours.  I still take time for myself, but now with treatments on Friday, it feels like I only have 4 days to get done what I should have 5 for.

Good news!  The whole family will be together for Thanksgiving in Phoenix!  It may only be for ~28 hours, 8-10 of which will be spent sleeping, but it is better than nothing!  Can't wait to see everyone!

The revisit

It's me, Mom, back in Dayton, a return trip to see how things and Anne were doing. Also, Anne found me a $69 round trip ticket, so,how could I not come! Although I admit to being a little tired from the overnight flight it didn't take long to see that things were good.  Anne was off to work. It seems like she is going strong putting in full days.  Heck, she even rode her bike to and from work so  I could have a car to run a few errands. (More on that later) If it wasn't for a few physical changes like her beautiful bald head, and an insatiable appetite I'd never know anything was amiss. So she was off to work while Mom / personal assistant took a 3 hour nap!

Once rested, this PA got to work.  No big assignments, a little straightening and a trip to the store. Did I mention that in typical Anne style she had invited a few friends over for pumpkin carving and a little Halloween fun? No worries they weren't coming tonight, it was tomorrow. There was plenty of time to get ready. And there was. And she had a plan.  Friends over after work, a "Halloween Supper" followed by pumpkin carving. So a quick trip to the store for some staples, sloppy jo fixings, donut holes, apple cider, chips, candy for trick or treaters, and a basket full of pumpkins!  The usual Halloween goodies. After a relaxing dinner at home we hit the hay early.Tomorrow would be a long day.

After breakfast, Anne was again off to work while this PA had little to do but get ready for the evenings festivities.  It was fun putting out her Halloween decorations getting things ready just like we had so many times before.  Once again I was reminded that things seems way too normal for what should be her crazy life right now. But normal it was....good friends having fun eating, drinking, sharing stories, and yes even carving pumpkins! A quick clean up then to bed to get ready for an early morning visit to the clinic for treatment #2 of phase 2.

This is the part where you would think it would feel more out of the ordinary.  But no, again, Anne reacts like it's a trip to the store.  We check in.  They increase the dose of her precocktail in an attempt to have less infusion reaction to the taxol.  It seems to work.  I get her a couple of warm blankets, help her grade some papers, she takes a nap, "It's time to go home!"  No problems. No bad reactions. Just a little sleepy from the benedryl. So back home we went,some soup and sandwhich for lunch,then waiting for the kids to come and start Trick or Treating! Again, just a mom and great daughter hanging out on Halloween!

In case you haven't figured it out this PA feels a little under used.  Anne is doing amazingly well.  I know she has her ups and downs but all in all she just keeps keepin' on. She is strong and determined and is...well...she is just Anne.  Not Anne with cancer, not Anne, fighting the battle of her life, not bald Anne, or hungry Anne, or anything else.  She is Anne! The same Anne I have known, loved and have been so proud of forever.  And THAT is great to see!