One Down!

Whelp, one treatment done.

And so far (only ~ an hour later), it's been fairly anti-climatic, but in a good way.

I'll start at the beginning...

Barbara Crecelius, Personal Assistant to Ms. Anne Crecelius brought me my morning coffee and a light breakfast in bed as has gotten WAY too familiar while she's been here.  I'm going to have to get back to reality a bit when she's gone.

It was nice to shower without so much hair, though I way over did it on the shampoo out of habit.  Definitely appreciated not having to spend time drying it though.  I had taken the bandage off my port and got the first good look at that:

You can kinda see the bump of the port...steri strips will come off with time.

 

It feels a little strange to have something implanted, but I think I'll get used to it and the soreness is improving.  Even practiced my routine of homemade mouthwash to prevent mouthsores, thorough handwashing, and double-flushing of the toilet [this last one is only done first 48 hours after treatment.  There's a slight risk for anyone who is exposed to any of the body's waste products/fluid after chemo, as the drugs are present in these.  Thus, double flushes and self-clean up of any vomit (which hopefully won't happen) is recommended. Oh, and condoms for sex.  Silver Lining: One less thing to worry about....]   

 

It was interesting getting ready and felt a little like the first day of school....What should I wear? Will people like my hair?  Mom! Did you pack snacks?! Where the hell is my laptop charger?! I want to be a little early.  Ok, yes, yeah, I think I have everything, let's go!

Yes, I do look happy and excited, you're not seeing things.

 

When I got there I had a momentary "oh shit, some of these people look sooo sick, am I gonna end up like them, oh no, oh no" moment, but it was rather temporary.  

 

Pretty much got right to it.  Since it was my first treatment, they didn't have to do a blood draw to check blood counts, but that will normally be step one. 

 

Deena, my nurse, accessing my port with a quick needle stick.



After making sure that all is set up correctly, I get my pre-game mixed cocktail.  Anti-nausea, steroids, etc...essentially to make the treatment (and after) more comfortable and less taxing on me.  All delivered through the I.V.  As you can see, I'm in a comfy chair, have my laptop up (hooray for wifi more on that later). 

 

Once all is on board, it's time for the good stuff...

Doxorubicin/Adriamycin...yes, it's red!

 

Delivery of the doxy is well-controlled...the nurse pushes and checks for backflow of blood (indicating the port is still placed within the vessel) between each push.  If this stuff gets out of the blood vessel it's bad news.  It isn't likely this would happen, but whenever a catheter is in, there's always a small risk of this (as I well know from my own work).  All went well. 

 

It's a strange feeling to sit there waiting to feel something (my toe's tingly, is that normal?), something I've done before in the lab as well.  It's also just weird for me to sit that long!  I stand at work normally, and don't own a recliner, so I think was having some stiffness aches and pains along the way. 

 

The Cytoxan comes next, but this is just delivery via the IV as a mixed solution.  I kept myself entertained doing some work, Mom did these. Also, thanks to technology, FaceTimed with Kait and her adorable little one (yay for moms on maternity leave!) as well as Karyn (post-run, pre-yoga...nice work seester!).

Hooray for technology!  Chemo for everyone!

 



I experienced a little bit of normal face-flushing and itchy nose toward the middle to end of the Cytoxan infusion so she slowed it down a bit, but nothing of concern. 

Ginger snaps? Sure, any excuse to eat cookies.  Well, maybe not "any"...

 



Mid-way through, another older lady getting treatment down the aisle got a delivery of Taco Bell...like a lot. Of Taco Bell.  This is funny because A) The nurse at chemo class specifically said to avoid Taco Bell and B) My two friends from UD both mentioned TBell to me because of the proximity to the treatment center.  We passed on stopping there on the way home today (have shredded beef for tacos tonight anyways), but if it's "allowable" I might consider in the future.

 

Picked up some RedBox movies, heated up leftovers for lunch, and have just been chilling out watching tennis.  Still feeling good, although we've heard and been told that day after and +2 (and maybe +3 according to Deena??) can be the worst.  Took some of the oral anti-nausea pills proactively and will take it easy.  Head back tomorrow at 1:30 for my immune-boosting recovery shot.

 

This probably gets old to hear but thanks for the well wishes!  So many!  You all are the best.  I can only hope that I continue to have good news to report.  This morning I finished reading the comic-memoir of Miriam Engelberg, Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person.  It's pretty hilarious, and definitely on point with a lot of what I've gone through already.  It was also a good reminder, that unlike the author of the other breast cancer memoir book I read, Miriam was not as lucky.  Her cancer reoccurred, became metastatic, and ultimately took her life.  I think reminders like this are good for me...I've been able to stay so positive, "knowing" that I'll be ok, but in all reality, nothing is for certain and there is a LONG way to go.  I simply hope that along this way, I have many more good days to report, like this one has been so far. 

 

PS- I wore the pink shirt pretty much tongue in cheek...please don't think I'm going pink-obsessed...cancer is happening to me, it isn't me, so I'm not going to let it totally dictate my wardrobe, decorations, etc.

 

 

 

But first...let me take a #selfie...

Another semi-busy day!

After a somewhat terrible night of sleep, nearly overslept getting up for my echocardiogram this morning.  This was just a routine pre-chemo (specifically the doxorubicin which in high doses can cause heart failure) check.  Went rather quickly, I got a little nostalgic listening to the sweet sounds of doppler, reminding me of the years in the lab in Fort Collins.

Went to the office after but only for a bit as I had to fast pre-procedure for the port placement so was headachey (thanks to my lack of morning coffee) and hangry even at 10 am.  A nap at home felt pretty awesome, then it was off to yet another facility (we're making the rounds of hospitals here in Dayton) for the port placement.

After checking in, went to pre-op.

Give me the good stuff!

The gowns were kinda cool in that they could be "warming" though it also made me feel a bit like a vacuum cleaner:

The plastic lining of the gown was plenty warm enough for me.

Reviewed my cocktail of drugs with the nice, semi-attractive but disappointingly married anesthesia resident in a Green Bay Packers scrub cap, chatted briefly with my surgeon (same as will do the breast surgery later on), then it was off.  I don't remember much after making a couple smart ass comments in the operating room and I awoke in recovery ~40 min later.

After finally getting a quick snack, changed and was on my way home with Mom.  Stopped for some food, completely ignoring the directions to avoid spicy and greasy food, and am now resting.

Yes that is Mickey Mouse.  Writing is surgeon's handiwork, good stuff hidden by dressing.

The biggest disappointment of the day was having to miss my first meeting of my Physiology class this afternoon at 4:30.  I had hoped to make it, but alas, had to start practicing my "asking for help" thing that I'm going to have to get used to.  Coworkers came through to cover, and since it was just "syllabus day" it could have been much worse.

Shoutout to the WU Crew for a great care package.  Managed to make a couple phone calls to friends...the list is long and growing, so I apologize in advance if it takes awhile.  I also know that the comments and email subscription to the blog haven't been super user friendly...if using it on mobile, make sure that when commenting you're either signed into a google account or change the drop down option to "anonymous" (but then let me know who you are!).  As for subscription...easiest I think if you have a google account, if not, I'm not sure...I'll probably be pretty consistent about posting for these first milestone events if you want to just check in.

More fun post tomorrow after wig shopping and hair cutting!

Let's Get it Started...

Marc hates the Black Eyed Peas.  I should be nice to him and not remind him of his favorite band with this title as he's got enough on his hand taking Alice HOME tonight!  Hooray for a growing baby that's doing well.

There's a lot to update...I'll just take you through the day.

8:30 am - Appointment with the "shrink".
This isn't something new, as therapy has been a part of my life for some time (if you haven't tried it, you could try it, it can be pretty cool).  I'm a bit of a smart ass so was anxious to see her since last time we had blown off the ultrasound and mammogram as "oh, it'll be nothing".  Well I'll show her!  Jokes.  Anyways, it was nice to chat and I'm glad I have this particular kind of support in place already.  As I said with her, while this cancer is something I'm dealing with, it isn't "me", so I'm glad that someone who already knows me can help me through this, rather than having to see someone new and rehash.

10:15 am - Appointment with the oncologist
After waving to campus as I drove by (convocation was today, classes start tomorrow, more on that later), headed down to the south end of town to meet the oncologist.  I really like him.  Straight-shooter, yet caring, let me get my clothes back on before he told me how the next 6 months will suck, and to top it off he's a Dayton Flyer.  That's got to be a good sign, right?

Thankfully he asked about enrollment and not this...

 

The most important part of the appointment though was him laying out the chemo plan.  He reiterated what the surgeon had said and provided some additional details as well.  Here's what it's looking like:

•  First 8 Weeks: 4 Cycles of Adriamycin (doxorubicin) and Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), once every 2 weeks. 
• This is the "big stuff", the cancer killers.  Could see tumor regression in size after the first dose.
• It's also the stuff that can wreck your blood cells (as it just acts on rapidly dividing cells without discriminating cancer from healthy cells).  So after a treatment day, I'll go in for a dose of Neulasta to try to keep my immune system high.
• I'll still have to be careful about germs and such but don't have to go crazy with it.
• I will lose my hair (7-10 days after first dose), so it's good I checked out hats...
• Silver lining alert!  No shaving!
• Fertility shouldn't directly be affected, but really only time will tell.  Would want about 2 years post treatment before considering getting pregnant.  Considering that I'm single and don't anticipate that "I have cancer" is the way to a guy's heart, not thinking that will be a problem.
• Sidenote: the meeting with the oncologist felt a little like a first date..."he seemed nice"  "I liked that he looked at me when he talked" "He seemed well put together".  As I joked with Mom, maybe I shouldn't have been such a slut and let him feel me up on the first date....
• Next 12 Weeks: 12 Cycles of Taxol, once weekly
• This is the "easier" part, not as fatigue inducing, hair may grow back, etc.
• Surgery
• See last post, options TBD
• Radiation? (depends on surgery)
• Hormone therapy
• Can't do this with the chemo, so get to delay the whole menopause thing for now.

Before the chemo, I have to get a port put in to eliminate the need to constantly put IVs in.  Will look something like this:

Google search for the NSFW pics

 

My surgeon will do the procedure tomorrow afternoon.  Before chemo, I also need to have an echocardiogram done to check heart function.  This is pretty standard, and in really high doses, the doxorubicin (I use the generic name because that's what I'm familiar with...there's some good research out of U of Northern Colorado on exercise and doxy that I heard in grad school).  That's also going to happen tomorrow.  Doc's office is nice, they handle scheduling well, and sent me on my way, with appointments scheduled.  I'll see Dr. Romer in 2 weeks.

 

CHEMO STARTS FRIDAY!  I'm excited as I'm anxious to get treatment started...this schedule also bodes well for some future travels (I'm talking to you Minnesota...1st weekend in October...), and bonus! I won't have to get chemo on my birthday weekend.

 

11:00 am- Lunch!  Felt a little like a celebration which both Mom and I said was strange, but seemed fitting.  We like having plans!!

 

12:30 pm- Back to doc...oops, left before letting them draw blood for a pre-chemo check.  As I said on the way home today, it's probably a good thing, I'm used to being poked and prodded (thanks to the lab at CSU).  If I stressed out about ever needle stick, I'd be in real trouble.

 

1:30 pm- CHEMO CLASS! 

That is seriously what they call it.  At the place I'll receive treatment, myself and others got to attend C101.

 

And I thought the other welcome kit was impressive...

 

Sitting in this "class" felt a lot like I'm sure my students will feel like tomorrow...going through a syllabus (I can read! This is in writing! Why are you telling me this?!), people asking silly questions ("so, there are different kinds of chemotherapy?"), the instructor trying to make everyone feel welcome ("Not everyone will make friends with the person next to them"), giving helpful hints that really probably should just be demands ("If you want to use this to keep things organized, you can, but everyone needs to stay organized in their own way!").  Kind of funny.  A lot of the info was good, and we learned about some additional resources (direct help from Pink Ribbon Girls, free wigs from ACS, what helps with taste and mouth sores, etc.).  Also got to see the treatment space (wahoo for wifi!) where I'll be spending the 2.5-3 hours that treatment will take.

 

3:30- Cancer Survival Kit Shopping

Sort of felt like a college kid again, going to walmart and going shopping for "essentials" with mom.  This time though, the essentials looked a little different...

 

Where are the 3M hooks, school supplies, and shower caddy?

 

From left to right...

V-neck for easy access to port - and sure, pink, wahoo!

Sunscreen - chemo makes you sun sensitive.

Baking soda, bottle, salt, soft toothbrush - prone to mouth sores with chemo so have to rinse daily and want to avoid mouth bleeding as it's an easy way for infections to get in.

Ginger ale, crackers, ginger tea - while I will get anti-nausea medicine with the chemo in the iv and have prescription anti-nausea pills for after, this is the most common and annoying side effect and these can help.

Thermometer- daily temperature checks so that if infection arises, can nip in the bud

Lemon drops and Life Savers- chemo makes things taste bad, and sucking on these can help

Antibacterial wipes and sanitizers- Yeah, germs are bad. 

 

5:00- Breast MRI Appointment

MRI just gives another image of both breasts to make sure there aren't any cells lurking in the right breast and also identify the left and serve as a baseline.  Got to put sweet nipple stickers on, get an IV (for contrast for better imaging to be injected through) and then lay face down on the bed that gets put in the MRI tube.  Got to wear headphones and when asked what I wanted to listen to...

 

"Uh...Beyoncé...that's womanly, seems appropriate"

 

Didn't realize quite how loud the MRI would be, and actually drowned out the music, and sounded more like I was suffering through really bad house/techno music. 

 

If I was going to have a panic attack, I think it might have been at this point.  Lying, face down, just me, boobs hanging between plastic, contemplating what has happened in the last 3 weeks. Good thing I really like enclosed spaces, and didn't have to hit the panic button and made it through.

 

6:30 After picking up some food, finally made it home after a long but productive day.  Arrived to cards (Mom's friends...you people are way too nice...) and Amazon packages.

 

Light reading for bedtime, some serious, some fun.

 

Ordered these after reading this one:

On Amazon

 

Read this in literally a single night.  It's really good.  And I can relate already to a lot of what she writes about and I'm sure I will as this whole thing progresses.  It's good, I recommend. 

 

8:30 pm - Now.  Writing to update because a lot sure did happen.  Tomorrow's another full day, should make it back to campus in time to "teach" (aka 'syllabus day') at 4:30 but lovely coworkers will cover if I'm running late.  Thursday is a bit of a break, then the big day is Friday.

 

I'm happy to have a plan, as scary as the plan is starting to feel.  I'm sure some will say I'm rushing, but Big Bertha continues to grow, and I'm comfortable with these docs, facilities, and treatment plans, and I think that's really what's important.  The scientist in me freaked out a bit pre-MRI...."Should I do a clinical trial for the good of society?!?!"  "Maybe I'm rushing?!?"  "Did we ask all the questions we should have?!?"  But really, I'm in a good place getting ready for this, or at least getting as ready as I can be.

 

So here we go chemo, Imma be doin my thing.