PSA!

My sister-in-law's post about Alice being a month old (already!) reminded me of something I wanted to post about...

I want YOU to do a self-exam!

HAVE YOU DONE YOUR MONTHLY SELF BREAST EXAM LADIES?

My guess is that most of my female friends and family did when they found out about what was going on with me (I'm hoping at least!) in early to mid August.  Whelp, it's mid-September.  Time flies.

Not sure how?  Here's some easy steps:

Pick a method (circles, up and down, whatever) and stick to it.  Notice any differences between breasts, changes, etc.  It's most helpful to do at the same time in your menstrual cycle.  Any concerns?  Tell your doc (family, gyno, whatever).  If you're not sure you're doing it right, show your doc and let them correct you.

Do self exams prevent cancer? No.  Can they help detect it earlier?  Absolutely.  Does early detection allow for additional treatment options and boost survival and quality of life statistics?  You bet.

Guys, you're not immune, you've got your own stuff to take care of: How to Do a Testicular Self-Exam.  Plus, it's also on you to remind your sisters, mom, wives, girlfriends, etc.  And hey, if you want to join in and help them do the checks (talking about the wives and girlfriends here), they may not mind...

Add it to your calendar, use one of the smart phone apps designed to remind you and provide info, whatever.  Just get it done.  Make it like paying your rent or mortgage or any other monthly task.  I wish I had been more diligent...I would have been able to provide more information and perhaps earlier information to my doctor.  I know we're still a few weeks from official Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but cancer doesn't wait, so you shouldn't either.

THUD.

That's me jumping off my soapbox.  

In other news...

-I bought a VivoFit  activity tracker so I don't get chemo-lazy about not being active throughout the day....or if I do, at least I know about it.

-After working a full day yesterday including moving boxes, restocking expo products, etc, I crashed at about 8 pm...apparently my endurance levels are dropping.

-I finally ordered a wig!  Pictures when it arrives...thanks to the broomball team for generous gift certificate to our favorite catalog to help with it.

-I started paying bills (exclamation point???)  Trying to match EOBs with actual bills is a PITA.  Forthcoming post on that at some point.

-Oh Peyton, why couldn't you have just not thrown that pick...

-Had my first booze in awhile...

mmmm brunch bloody mary...

at a brunch that could have been deserving of it's own blog post.  Great patio at a great place, Lily's in the Oregon District.  Unfortunately our server was...well, something to be desired.  We ended up getting the meal comped due to waiting literally an hour and a half for our food, which we alerted staff to.  It was tasty, and the hot sauce (that said server then "borrowed" off of our table mid-meal) was delicious.  All in all though, a few hours spent with good friends having great conversation isn't something to be complained about, so was happy to start my Sunday in this way!

Thanks for reading, now go

Let's Get it Started...

Marc hates the Black Eyed Peas.  I should be nice to him and not remind him of his favorite band with this title as he's got enough on his hand taking Alice HOME tonight!  Hooray for a growing baby that's doing well.

There's a lot to update...I'll just take you through the day.

8:30 am - Appointment with the "shrink".
This isn't something new, as therapy has been a part of my life for some time (if you haven't tried it, you could try it, it can be pretty cool).  I'm a bit of a smart ass so was anxious to see her since last time we had blown off the ultrasound and mammogram as "oh, it'll be nothing".  Well I'll show her!  Jokes.  Anyways, it was nice to chat and I'm glad I have this particular kind of support in place already.  As I said with her, while this cancer is something I'm dealing with, it isn't "me", so I'm glad that someone who already knows me can help me through this, rather than having to see someone new and rehash.

10:15 am - Appointment with the oncologist
After waving to campus as I drove by (convocation was today, classes start tomorrow, more on that later), headed down to the south end of town to meet the oncologist.  I really like him.  Straight-shooter, yet caring, let me get my clothes back on before he told me how the next 6 months will suck, and to top it off he's a Dayton Flyer.  That's got to be a good sign, right?

Thankfully he asked about enrollment and not this...

 

The most important part of the appointment though was him laying out the chemo plan.  He reiterated what the surgeon had said and provided some additional details as well.  Here's what it's looking like:

•  First 8 Weeks: 4 Cycles of Adriamycin (doxorubicin) and Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), once every 2 weeks. 
• This is the "big stuff", the cancer killers.  Could see tumor regression in size after the first dose.
• It's also the stuff that can wreck your blood cells (as it just acts on rapidly dividing cells without discriminating cancer from healthy cells).  So after a treatment day, I'll go in for a dose of Neulasta to try to keep my immune system high.
• I'll still have to be careful about germs and such but don't have to go crazy with it.
• I will lose my hair (7-10 days after first dose), so it's good I checked out hats...
• Silver lining alert!  No shaving!
• Fertility shouldn't directly be affected, but really only time will tell.  Would want about 2 years post treatment before considering getting pregnant.  Considering that I'm single and don't anticipate that "I have cancer" is the way to a guy's heart, not thinking that will be a problem.
• Sidenote: the meeting with the oncologist felt a little like a first date..."he seemed nice"  "I liked that he looked at me when he talked" "He seemed well put together".  As I joked with Mom, maybe I shouldn't have been such a slut and let him feel me up on the first date....
• Next 12 Weeks: 12 Cycles of Taxol, once weekly
• This is the "easier" part, not as fatigue inducing, hair may grow back, etc.
• Surgery
• See last post, options TBD
• Radiation? (depends on surgery)
• Hormone therapy
• Can't do this with the chemo, so get to delay the whole menopause thing for now.

Before the chemo, I have to get a port put in to eliminate the need to constantly put IVs in.  Will look something like this:

Google search for the NSFW pics

 

My surgeon will do the procedure tomorrow afternoon.  Before chemo, I also need to have an echocardiogram done to check heart function.  This is pretty standard, and in really high doses, the doxorubicin (I use the generic name because that's what I'm familiar with...there's some good research out of U of Northern Colorado on exercise and doxy that I heard in grad school).  That's also going to happen tomorrow.  Doc's office is nice, they handle scheduling well, and sent me on my way, with appointments scheduled.  I'll see Dr. Romer in 2 weeks.

 

CHEMO STARTS FRIDAY!  I'm excited as I'm anxious to get treatment started...this schedule also bodes well for some future travels (I'm talking to you Minnesota...1st weekend in October...), and bonus! I won't have to get chemo on my birthday weekend.

 

11:00 am- Lunch!  Felt a little like a celebration which both Mom and I said was strange, but seemed fitting.  We like having plans!!

 

12:30 pm- Back to doc...oops, left before letting them draw blood for a pre-chemo check.  As I said on the way home today, it's probably a good thing, I'm used to being poked and prodded (thanks to the lab at CSU).  If I stressed out about ever needle stick, I'd be in real trouble.

 

1:30 pm- CHEMO CLASS! 

That is seriously what they call it.  At the place I'll receive treatment, myself and others got to attend C101.

 

And I thought the other welcome kit was impressive...

 

Sitting in this "class" felt a lot like I'm sure my students will feel like tomorrow...going through a syllabus (I can read! This is in writing! Why are you telling me this?!), people asking silly questions ("so, there are different kinds of chemotherapy?"), the instructor trying to make everyone feel welcome ("Not everyone will make friends with the person next to them"), giving helpful hints that really probably should just be demands ("If you want to use this to keep things organized, you can, but everyone needs to stay organized in their own way!").  Kind of funny.  A lot of the info was good, and we learned about some additional resources (direct help from Pink Ribbon Girls, free wigs from ACS, what helps with taste and mouth sores, etc.).  Also got to see the treatment space (wahoo for wifi!) where I'll be spending the 2.5-3 hours that treatment will take.

 

3:30- Cancer Survival Kit Shopping

Sort of felt like a college kid again, going to walmart and going shopping for "essentials" with mom.  This time though, the essentials looked a little different...

 

Where are the 3M hooks, school supplies, and shower caddy?

 

From left to right...

V-neck for easy access to port - and sure, pink, wahoo!

Sunscreen - chemo makes you sun sensitive.

Baking soda, bottle, salt, soft toothbrush - prone to mouth sores with chemo so have to rinse daily and want to avoid mouth bleeding as it's an easy way for infections to get in.

Ginger ale, crackers, ginger tea - while I will get anti-nausea medicine with the chemo in the iv and have prescription anti-nausea pills for after, this is the most common and annoying side effect and these can help.

Thermometer- daily temperature checks so that if infection arises, can nip in the bud

Lemon drops and Life Savers- chemo makes things taste bad, and sucking on these can help

Antibacterial wipes and sanitizers- Yeah, germs are bad. 

 

5:00- Breast MRI Appointment

MRI just gives another image of both breasts to make sure there aren't any cells lurking in the right breast and also identify the left and serve as a baseline.  Got to put sweet nipple stickers on, get an IV (for contrast for better imaging to be injected through) and then lay face down on the bed that gets put in the MRI tube.  Got to wear headphones and when asked what I wanted to listen to...

 

"Uh...Beyoncé...that's womanly, seems appropriate"

 

Didn't realize quite how loud the MRI would be, and actually drowned out the music, and sounded more like I was suffering through really bad house/techno music. 

 

If I was going to have a panic attack, I think it might have been at this point.  Lying, face down, just me, boobs hanging between plastic, contemplating what has happened in the last 3 weeks. Good thing I really like enclosed spaces, and didn't have to hit the panic button and made it through.

 

6:30 After picking up some food, finally made it home after a long but productive day.  Arrived to cards (Mom's friends...you people are way too nice...) and Amazon packages.

 

Light reading for bedtime, some serious, some fun.

 

Ordered these after reading this one:

On Amazon

 

Read this in literally a single night.  It's really good.  And I can relate already to a lot of what she writes about and I'm sure I will as this whole thing progresses.  It's good, I recommend. 

 

8:30 pm - Now.  Writing to update because a lot sure did happen.  Tomorrow's another full day, should make it back to campus in time to "teach" (aka 'syllabus day') at 4:30 but lovely coworkers will cover if I'm running late.  Thursday is a bit of a break, then the big day is Friday.

 

I'm happy to have a plan, as scary as the plan is starting to feel.  I'm sure some will say I'm rushing, but Big Bertha continues to grow, and I'm comfortable with these docs, facilities, and treatment plans, and I think that's really what's important.  The scientist in me freaked out a bit pre-MRI...."Should I do a clinical trial for the good of society?!?!"  "Maybe I'm rushing?!?"  "Did we ask all the questions we should have?!?"  But really, I'm in a good place getting ready for this, or at least getting as ready as I can be.

 

So here we go chemo, Imma be doin my thing.

 

 

 

 

It's my cancer and I'll laugh if I want to....

Make sure you sing that title to the tune of this song.

I'm actually not in much of a laughing mood.  Lots of "tellings" today.  My grad student, my fellow faculty members, my dean.  I held it together through all of them (I'm good at that, I can sort of distance myself emotionally) but it takes a lot out of me.  People are shocked.  I can see it in their faces.  They ask different questions..."is there a family history?" "where are you going for treatment".  Most have stories to share "I know (insert random person here) who went through this".  All express their condolences (as any decent person with half a heart would).  As my mom and I discussed, it's a lot like when my dad died.  I'll be glad when more people just know and this part is over.

So yeah, it was a long day.  Add onto that a frustrating faculty meeting (as much as life can change, some things stay the same) plus having to contemplate what opportunities I do and don't pursue this academic year (is this going to be too much?!) and I was ready to leave work early.  High point of the work day was lunch with some of the very good friends I'm thankful to have made that provide such a welcome break so often.  I could go on about more of the emotions, and I will at a later time, but Alice's arrival yesterday delayed what I was planning on writing on....

MY WELCOME PACKET!!

Disclaimer: As the post title may imply, I am light-hearted in the most serious of times.  It's how I cope.  Many in my family do as well.  My brother's response to the URL of this blog was pretty priceless and along the humorous lines.  So if this offends you, too bad.  In times like this I think people need to "do what they need to do", and for me, that's stay my sarcastic self.  

So this welcome packet.  I was handed it by the PA at the surgeon's office when I was first taken back from the waiting room and it seriously felt a lot like the welcome packet when I moved into my last apartment, minus a coupon for free pizza and a trial membership at the gym.

One of the highlights by far is the "tlc" catalog from the American Cancer Society.  Think hats, special bras, and fake boobs.  I few of the visual highlights.

The "halo" that Beyonce was singing about?

This either makes total sense...or no sense at all.

Even cancer is no excuse for an embroidered denim bucket hat.

Browsing the catalog was actually probably helpful in things "sinking in"....yes I would wear a scarf, turbans are weird, "cancer hats" are extra long and cover your ears, oh yeah, eyebrows are hair too, wigs aren't as expensive as I thought...

The other information in the folder of fun was somewhat helpful, and much of it I had seen before. The American Cancer Society has a lot of info online, similar to what is in these books.  Another helpful site I've been using is http://www.breastcancer.org/ that also has a handy mobile app for tracking the diagnosis (stage, grade, etc).  The Beyond the Shock iOS app has some informative, albeit cheesy, videos as well that explain a lot too.

Perhaps laughing at wig styles I didn't know existed, semi-politically correct prosthetic breasts, and awful fashion statements might not be the best coping mechanism, but it has lightened my mood, and that was needed today.  I'll say again, it's my cancer and I'll laugh if I want to...  hope you can too.  

**I know some folks have had trouble with comments...working on it, but keep trying :)  Thanks for letting me know.